One of the perks of living in China is being able to hire domestic help. Many foreigners working in China, are able to afford to hire an “ayi.” Some people have an ayi who comes in their home 1-2 times a week, just to do some cleaning. Other folks have full-time ayis to do housework, childcare, and/or cooking. Really, you can have whatever you want! When I read forums before moving to Shanghai, I was in disbelief at how cheaply one can hire domestic help. NEVER in my imagination did I think it was something I could afford, or even want. I mean, do I really want a stranger to be in my personal space? Do I really want to be a diva and have someone else mop the floors?
For the 1st two months of living in Shanghai, I resisted looking for an ayi. Wage urged me to find and hire one, but I dragged my feet. Frankly, I was a bit intimidated by the whole process, which was unknown to me. How do I even inquire about one? What if she’s terrible? What if I can’t communicate with her? Finally, after reading more forums and asking a few colleagues, I delved into a whole new world.
Here are my TWO experiences with ayis so far…
Zhu Ayi
I was told that word-of-mouth recommendation was a good way to find an ayi. Through another ayi in our school, I was referred to Zhu Ayi, who was actually one of our lunch-ladies. We agreed that she would come to our home 3 days a week, for 3 hours at a time. Sweeping, mopping, dusting, bathrooms, cooking dinner and cleaning the kitchen. These were her main responsibilities. Groceries were purchase by me.
Since she was our first ayi, I found myself hyper-alert about what was cleaned. I did my best to “train” her, by pointing out things I wanted to have done. Whenever I came home, I would check her work by looking at what was cleaned or not. Often times, I felt uncomfortable about pointing things out, because I didn’t want to question her work either. “Ayi, when you have a chance, can you dust this area? Ayi, please make sure to move the air purifier over when you mop. Ayi, can you…?” It was frustrating to feel both guilty and dissatisfied at the same time!
Cooking – her cooking was bland most of the time, but I was satisfied with it. Wage – he never liked her cooking. AT ALL. I was just happy to have a meal on the table, so I did not mind that her cooking wasn’t that good. Food was food, and it’s there to keep us living, right?
Small things that made us wonder, is this how having an ayi is? A few times, Zhu Ayi did not show up to work, but failed to let me know ahead of time. More than a few times, she would “finish” her work before the 3 hours, and would just leave. She could have found more housework to do, but tended to do the minimum for us. The things I asked her to do, she did once or twice, but did not do it again later. It was as if she’d only do things if I explicitly asked her to, which I found to be tiring.
Obviously, these things are not the end of the world, and she certainly never stole from us, or did anything unreasonable. She was likeable, and I know she liked us just fine. Still, I often questioned if I even needed her around, because having her was not always better than doing the work myself.
FINALLY, I decided it was time to try another ayi. Though I felt a little guilty about it, my friend assured me that it’s okay to try someone else. It’s normal.
Li Ayi
Once again, by referral, we crossed paths with another ayi. I was referred to Li ayi last Thursday, by a grocery lady at the wet market. THIS TIME, I was better equipped with knowledge & experience, so was able to actually “interview” her. She & I chatted for about 20 minutes, asking each other questions to clarify what she could do, what we needed, what her conditions were, etc. I asked her if we could try out a week with her, to which she said, “How about this, I’ll cook dinner for you on Saturday and Sunday, then you can see what you think?”
Perfect! From the moment we started to talk, I knew this ayi was a pro, just by the way she countered my request with the offer to cook. And cooking is important for us, so it was as good a test as any.
Fast-forward to today. We officially hired her as of Sunday night, and it’s like night-and-day compared to our old ayi. NIGHT AND DAY. Here are just some of the things she’s done that make us love her already.
* She made Dean’s bed yesterday, and asked me, “Do you want me to fold the blankets up or spread them out on the bed?”
* She folded our dry laundry and put everything into our closets.
* Every night, when she finishes in the kitchen, she will scrub and wipe dry our kitchen sink.
* When she wipes the kitchen floor after cooking dinner, she will wipe from the far side of the floor, out to the door – so her feet won’t step all over where she wiped.
* She dusts EVERYTHING, even behind the Playstation machine.
* When I was home this afternoon, she told me to rest, because I looked tired. In truth, I feel weird just “relaxing” when I see her doing housework. Makes me feel bad!
* She asked me tons of questions about where we keep things, what she should use to clean things, how to use the laundry machine, and so on.
* She actually dusts/wipes the light switches on the wall.
* She talks to me a lot about food, and how we have to eat healthy and feed Dean lots of meat, because he’s growing.
I could go on and on about her, even from just having her for 4 days. It is in the small things that you can tell about a person, ayi or anyone. OH, did I mention she is a good cook?
The feeling I get from Li Ayi is, she sees it as her responsibility to not just clean/cook for us, but to care for us. She loves Dean, and I can tell she wants to cook good food just to see him grow. So far, I’ve not needed to ask her to do anything, because she is way ahead of me already. If anything, I’m trying to keep up with her! I honestly think she WANTS to be our ayi.
Conclusion
From what I have read, heard and seen so far, it seems like hiring an ayi is a gamble. It’s hit or miss, even if you’re experienced in this world of hired help. I’ve learned a great deal from our first experience, and I’m certain to learn more from our new ayi. Supposedly, a good ayi becomes a part of the family, and I have a good feeling that Li Ayi is now part of our family. =)
p.s. In case you are wondering, here is what we’re paying. Keep in mind that ayis get paid anywhere between 10-25rmb/hour, depending on who and what they are doing, if you hire yourself, or if you go through an agency, if they speak English or not.
We paid our previous ayi 50rmb a day, for 3 hrs. That’s about 17rmb/hour, which is $2.63/hour. We had her for 9 hours a week, which is 150rmb/week, or $23.25/week.
For our new ayi, I’ve upped the hours to 4 hours/day, Mon-Fri. When I said I only wanted 3 hours a day, Li ayi told me that 3 hours is very rushed if she is to clean thoroughly and cook dinner. So, I agreed to 4 hours a day. We’re going to pay her the 17rmb/hour, so it’ll end up costing us 340rmb/week = $53/week. About $228/month.
Is it worth it? Will this make us spoiled? Possibly. My friend made a good statement about this whole arrangement. She said, “If it’s a good relationship, all parties are happy. The ayi is making good money with your family, so she can care for her own family. And you are being well-cared for! It’s a win-win.”
